We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
