The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
