i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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