..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
