So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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