You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
