Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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