So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Man, jail baloney is awful.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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