I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want nice things and good sex
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
