God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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