So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
