I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
