FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
