I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
