I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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