White coat. Heels.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is this like a preordered booty call?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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