remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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