Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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