You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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