The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
