you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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