I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
