But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
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I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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