i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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