Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
