no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize