I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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