this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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