1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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