I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize