This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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