ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
