Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
