no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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