I murdered the dance floor call the cops
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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