Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
