I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
