Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You pole danced in your parka.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
