you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
