STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
