then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
