the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
