There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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