Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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