erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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