At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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