so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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