No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
