On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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