just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
