I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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