How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
