I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
