I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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