I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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