There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
