anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize