My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
