Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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