College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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