Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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