u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
