alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
