nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
