Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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