So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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