Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do vagina's smell?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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